Twas the Night Before AC 70.3

'Twas the night before the AC 70.3, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

The tribags were packed by the front door with care,

In hopes that Steve Del Montesoon would be there;

The athletes were nestled all snug in their beds;

While visions of finish lines danced in their heads;

And mamma in her trikit, and I in my swim cap,

Had just settled our brains for a long pre-race nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the Atlantic Bay,

Gave a lustre of Bader where transition objects lay,

When what to my wondering eyes did appear,

But an AC jitney and eight volunteers,

With an energized driver so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment he must be St. DelMo.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:

"Now, Denise! now, Kristy! now Mindy and Maggie!

On, Rachel! on, Ryan! on, Dawkins and Teddie!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;

So up to the housetop the coursers they flew

With the sleigh full of swag, and St. DelMo too—

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each bike shoe hoof.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney St. DelMo came with a bound.

He was dressed all in lycra, from his head to his foot,

And his body was all tarnished with tritats and soot;

A bundle of pint glasses he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a pedler just opening his pack.

His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

For he had never learned how to say the word no;

The stump of a shot block he held tight in his teeth,

And the gu, it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a flat toned belly

That stayed put when he laughed, unlike a bowl full of jelly.

He was cheery and fit, a right jolly young elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the tribags; then turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his jitney, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight—

“Happy Ironman 70.3 to all, and to all a good night…brought to you by DelMoSports and Inspira Health Network!”